


You know we can't

by MosherEndgame



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bisexual Male Character, Dirty Talk, Feelings, Gay Sex, Hand Jobs, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Pansexual Character, Smut, mosher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-16 19:09:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16501070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MosherEndgame/pseuds/MosherEndgame
Summary: Cameron and Noel haven't seen each other for a while. End of April/early May 2018.





	You know we can't

**Author's Note:**

> Cam is 'dating' Peyton, it isn't a romantic relationship. It is a career move for both parties and Noel is aware.
> 
> It's sad we have to say this but this is obviously fiction.

Cam [11:14am] Hey Noel, heard you were in New Orleans for a new project.

He'd never learn his lesson when it came to Noel. He'd been so busy over the last couple of months he hadn't thought about him much, but now, he was alone and letting his mind wander. He knew when he decided to leave Shameless that ultimately there would be no other way to end Ian's story without Mickey. So Mickey coming back obviously meant Noel coming back, and Noel coming back meant Cam would have to deal with all the emotions of the last 7 years. Fuck. Reuniting with Noel for S7 had been cathartic. They had missed each other and fuck if it didn't show on screen. But a lot had changed since then and they hadn't seen each other since. Noel always had the upper hand in their relationship (or whatever the fuck they had been) but Cam always fell back into his arms with so little resistance that he ccouldn't help feeling like a pathetic lovesick puppy.

Noel [11:30am] Yea. Fonzo. The cast is pretty awesome. It's been fun. 

Cam [11:33am] Sweet. You have any good fish lately? 

Noel [11:35am] Weird question but yea. We've gone to this local place a few times. Had some amazing fish tacos last night. 

Cam [11:38am] oh yeah? fish tacos. Sick of them yet? ;) 

He smirked to himself as he sent that one out. Cheap joke, he knows, but when he'd let his mind wander to Noel, he often wondered if the older man missed dick. I mean, given how they ended things, Cam knew he was being loyal to his wife. Which means he hadn't had any dick since he decided to marry HER, his "safe choice" after 12 years of dating. Cam wasn't even going to pretend like he wasn't bitter. The worse thing is he gets why he chose her. He understands completely why Noel had made that decision. It didn't make it hurt any fucking less. 

Noel [11:40am] Ok laugh it up funny guy 

Cam [11:46am] how long are you there for?

Noel [11:47am] couple more weeks, what u up to? 

Cam [11:50am] back to nyc for some interviews and then shameless 

Noel [11:53am] nice. So just a couple more months then we'll be back at it. 

Cam [11:54am] speaking of backing at it, you miss dick?

Whoop, there it is. Cam held his breath, pressing send before he could take it back.

Noel [12:01pm]...really Cam? 

Cam [12:05pm] it was an actual question, not fucking around. 

Cam [12:08pm] ???? 

Noel [12:09pm] more lately. marriage isn't all sunshine and rainbows. I can tell you that. 

Cam [12:10pm] trouble in paradise? 

Cam should have stopped while he was ahead. That was the story of his life when it came to Noel though. He always pushed to see how much he could get away with. But more than anything he just really wanted to know if Noel missed him. 

Noel [12:14pm] Shit fucking sucks right now. 

Noel [12:15pm] Fuck. Ur the last person I should be talking to this about. 

Ouch. 

Cam [12:16pm] For real though are you ok Noel? I fucking miss you.

Noel [12:17pm] u shouldn't. Looked like you got plenty to keep you warm. Saw that shit with ur gf's brother. Ur really letting your inner fuckboi out, eh? 

Cam's jaw actually dropped, his thumbs hovering, frozen in shock over his phone. Did noel seriously just let some actual jealousy slip into their exchange? And where the fuck did he see anything of him and Spencer? Sure, he wasn't in a romantic relationship with Peyton and yeah, Spencer was gay but Cam had no interest in him. But fuck, the nerve of Noel to say anything to him when he was the one who went off and got fucking married. God, Cam hated how much that tiny display of jealousy made a smile breakout on his face. Jealousy meant Noel still cared and the redhead reveled in that, felt the joy down to his bones. 

Cam [12:17pm] the fuck are you talking about? 

Noel [12:20pm] nevermind, forget it. I have to get back to work anyway. 

And crazy as it was, that parting line sealed Cam's decision to fly to New Orleans. His old lover was upset and when he got upset like this, Cam knew he was likely not to hear from him for a while. He couldn't deal with it, knowing Noel was troubled and sad or whatever was going on and not being able to fix it. He had to go see him. This was a huge judgment call and probably a big fucking mistake but the decision was made. He had to see Noel.

Hours later the redhead arrived at LAX for his very expensive last minute flight. Traveling was always difficult because of the possibility of fans recognizing him, so he had worn his most inconspicious outfit; jeans, T shirt and oversized hoodie, a baseball cap covering his cropped bright red hair. He prayed to whatever god was out there that no one recognized him. A fan picture would undoubtedly be uploaded to social media almost immediately, with fans speculating on where he was, where he was going, etc. God forbid someone would go so far as to track down his movements for the coming days. If he and Noel were rumored to be in the same city at the same time rumors would fly and he could not have that right now. 

Cam [9:01pm] what hotel you staying at? 

He had taken a huge chance thinking that he would get all the way to another state and have Noel actually tell him what hotel he was in. It was an odd enough question he thought it would at least get a text back from the older man. 

Noel [9:04pm] why? 

Cam [9:05pm] Cause I just landed in New Orleans and I kinda need to know where to find you. 

Noel [9:05pm] what the fuck Cam? 

Cam [9:07pm] just tell me 

Cam waited for the response, sitting on a bench outside the airport, his right leg jumping anxiously. Fuck this was stupid. What the fuck was he thinking? What if Noel won't tell him? What if he has to turn back around, catch a flight back to LAX, knowing they were less than 20 miles apart, knowing they could have -

Noel [9:15pm] Le Méridien room 3101 

Thirty minutes later Cam's uber pulled up to the hotel. Cam was amped up. Nervous. He hadn't seen the older man in a long time. And Noel was going to be mad. So many pent-up emotions were about to boil over for both them. He made his way to the third floor, his heart pounding as he stood in front of room 3101, his fist hovering in front of the door. He takes a deep breathe. Here goes nothing. He knocks. 

The door swings open immediately, a brunette Noel Fisher, a welcome and familiar sight. 

"What the FUCK, Cam?!" Noel asked angrily. Immediately turning to walk into his room, a sprawling suite with ceiling to floor windows overlooking downtown New Orleans. 

Cam felt a tightening in his chest as he walked in behind Noel, pushing the door shut behind himself. He hadn't seen the other man for almost a year and he couldn't tear his eyes away from him. His jet black hair, those beautiful pink lips, piercing blue eyes, that perfectly round ass. He struggled to find the words to defend himself to the man standing in front of him. The man that he had repeatedly given his heart to only to have it broken again and again. A sane man would have gained some common sense by now. Or at the very least say he regretted their time together. Yet here he is, still chasing after the man who would always have his heart.

"Kind of disappointed that you aren't impressed with my grand romantic gesture," the redhead joked, trying to break the tension in the room. 

Pinching the bridge of his nose Noel sat down on the bed, at a loss for words. 

"What did you mean by your Spencer comment?" Cam inquired, biting his bottom lip nervously. He knew that was probably the worst thing to say right now but he really wanted to know. 

"Are you telling me you flew from LA to New Orleans just to ask me that?" Noel asked his eyebrows scrunched incredulously.

"Well, no, it wasn't JUST that. I've got a million fucking questions but I thought I'd start with that. Go ahead, Noel, say what you wanted to say." 

"Cam, you can't fly across the country to see me. I'm working. I'm MARRIED. And anyway, you have your own shit," Noel sneered, clearly remembering something he thought he knew about Cam and Spencer List. 

"No fucking shit you're married! I'm reminded of that every fucking day when I start to text you and realize I can't talk to you anymore. Every day I'm reminded that you decided someone else was the better choice over me, poor, young, stupid Cam. Believe me, I'll never forget you're fucking married. And I don't know what the fuck you think you know about me and Spencer but there isn't shit going on. Not like you have a right to be jealous anyway," the redhead blurted out, barely stopping to take a breath. 

Noel sat and stared up at Cam in stunned silence. 

"You're right, I don't have a right to be jealous, but I am. I saw that shit on instagram of you and Spencer, 'dancing'," Noel's fingers held up to emphasize the word "he was all over you." 

Cam remembered then that a friend had briefly added a video weeks ago of him and Spencer goofing around dancing. He had been absolutely wasted, and they had deleted it pretty quickly, but apparently, it made the rounds. He couldn't believe Noel of all people had seen it. Was the older man keeping tabs on him?

"Ummm, okay, I'm not into Spencer, and even if I was - " Cam cut himself off, frustratingly rubbing his hands over his face. "You know what, fuck you, Noel. I don't have to explain myself to you." 

The younger man walked past him to stand in front of the window. Trying to stifle his anger he focused on the lights in the street below and took a few deep breaths. Everything was always passionate with Noel, their fights, their love, their sex. All of it. Life imitating art I guess.

"Cam, we can't keep doing this," the older man stood and walked to him, his hand gripping the taller man's shoulder to turn him around. "I hate seeing you hurt. I hate that it's always me that's fucking hurting you." Moisture welled in the corner of blue eyes, locking onto green. 

There was a moment of tense, charged silence, neither man willing to look away, before Cam abruptly pulled the other man into his body by his hips. Painful longing and desire completely taking over as his lips hungrily pressed against Noel's. The older man didn't even try to protest, melting instantly into the familiar body in front of him, his tongue pressing in to explore the mouth he knew so well, but hadn't gotten nearly enough of. 

"We can't," Noel breathed into the redhead's mouth, trying to break contact but not having the willpower to actually do it. "You know we can't." 

"Fuckboi, huh? That's what you think of me now?" Cam spat sharply, ignoring Noel's comment completely. He reached for the brunette's belt, unlatching it quickly, "I'll show you fuckboi." 

Cam whipped the older man's belt through the loops, throwing it down. He unzipped Noel's jeans, letting them fall into a pool on the floor. Reaching his hands around Noel's waist he slowly dipped his hands below the elastic of the brunette's boxers, grabbing handfuls of his full ass cheek. It was one of Noel's best assets and Cam could never resist giving it the attention it deserved. 

"This ass... I bet it doesn't get worshipped as it should," the redhead whispered into Noel's ear. "hmmm? Of course it doesn't. I'm the only one that can take care of it how you like and you didn't choose me," Cam sneered, pivoting the brunette and pushing him against the cold glass window. 

Noel never took his gaze off Cam, his eyes soaking in the younger man's face, the anger and pain evident on his features. Wide eyes staring a he let the redhead manhandle him. 

"Fuck you for not picking me. For breaking my heart. For leaving me," Cam breathed as he bent down to place soft, wet open mouthed kisses along the brunette's collarbone, moving up his neck. 

"Cam, I...." Noel started to say before he was cut off. 

"No. I don't want any more excuses," the younger man said, shaking his head. He dropped Noel's boxers to the ground, gripping the brunette's rock hard dick in his hand. "This tells me everything I need to know." Cam spit into his hand, stroking Noel's length, torturously slow, up and down, twisting his wrist until the brunette began to moan softly. 

Cam came prepared, knowing what he wanted to happen. He pulled a small bottle of lube out of his pocket, opening it with one hand. He momentarily dropped Noel's leaking cock to lube his fingers. Noel was going to be tight, he needed to prep him to take the redhead's impressive length. 

Taking Noel's dick back into his right hand he used his left to reach around his lover, finding his tight, puckered hole, teasing it gently with the tip of his middle finger. Noel instinctively lifted his leg, his foot resting on the nearby chair to give Cam easier access.

"I need to get you ready," the younger man said dipping his middle finger into the tight ring of nerves, eliciting a small gasp from the other man's throat. "Have you missed me?" 

"You know I have," Noel gasped through clenched teeth, the redhead working his dick and his asshole nearly distracting him from the whispered question. 

"But that's the thing. You're with someone else. I don't know," Cam whispered sadly. The brunette crashed his lips into Cam's, desperate to show him how he felt. That he'd alway miss him. 

Noel reached down to undo Cam's pants but the younger man swatted his hand away. 

"Not until you're ready for me," the redhead demanded, adding another finger and plunging deeper into Noel's warmth. He spread his fingers scissoring gently, picking up the speed they plunged into his lover, the need to be inside of him becoming desperate. 

Finally satisfied that the brunette would be ready to take him, Cam extracted himself from Noel, moving to practically rip off his clothes. He always kept himself in shape, but he was especially ripped right now. Perfectly sculpted abs and the V that dipped below his pant line, a perfect path to the part of him that Noel was dying to feel again. The brunette watched mesmerized as the redhead let his jeans fall to the ground, his massive member tenting his boxers, more than ready to please his lover. Noel licked his lips in anticipation, his teeth pulling at his full bottom lip as he nodded in approval. 

"Are you ready for this?" Cam asked dropping his boxers. He used his still lubed up hand to slowly stroke his long, stiff dick, putting on a show for the other man. "Get that shirt off. I wanna see all of you." 

As Noel removed his shirt Cam moved swiftly toward the brunette, squatting down to picked the shorter man up by his thick thighs, instint forcing him to wrap his legs around the redhead's waist, ankles locking together. Noel's back was thrown up against the window, Cam lip pressing against the brunette's mouth, his dick knocking against Noel's stomach, slick with precum. 

"Fuck me. Please?" Noel whined, pinned between Cam and the glass. He wrapped his arms around the taller man's neck, his eyes begging. 

"Gladly," the redhead replied. He grabbed at the lube, pouring a generous amount in his hand, slicking up his dick between them. He pulled away slightly, bending to aligned his throbbing cock against Noel's hole, teasing him with a light rub of the soft head, before pressing in. Noel moaned at the sensation of having the other man inside him again, the stretch feeling better than he remembered. The position they were in didn't allow for much teasing, Cam quickly thrusting inside of Noel, letting his throbbing cock become enveloped in the tight, soft warmth of Noel's ass. 

"Bet you've missed this, huh?" Cam asked thrusting harder, Noel's plump ass slamming against the cool glass behind him. 

"You have no idea," the brunette gasped relishing in the feeling of the other man deep inside him, touching parts of him that only he could. 

"I think I do," Cam whispered, swiping the pool of liquid off of the tip of Noel's thick cock and using it to stroke his length pressed between them. 

Noel stared into green eyes as every emotion he'd ever felt for the redheaded man coursed through him. Cam's face softened, the ferocious need to own the other man dying at the sight of Noel's eyes brimming with tears. Cam rested his forehead against Noel's as he moved to press a soft, loving kiss against the brunette's mouth. 

"I'll love you forever," the younger man breathed into Noel's mouth as he picked up the pace and angled his body so that he would hit the other man's prostate with each thrust, his hand blurring on his partner's cock between them. 

The brunette let out an impressive moan as he felt himself edging closer to release. It was one of the most intimate moments of his life, his skin feeling like it was vibrating, his blood pulsing through his body to the heart that only truly beat for Cameron. 

Cam knew Noel couldn't say it, but he saw it written all over the brunette's face; he loved him back, just as ferociously. And he always would. 

The men exploded together, Noel spilling into Cam's hand and over his stomach, the redhead deep inside his lover. Neither wanted to move, Noel wrapped like a koala around the younger man, Cam's head resting on the brunette's shoulder, panting loudly, trying desperately to hold onto the intimacy of the moment they had just shared. 

"I love you, Cam," Noel whispered softly, his lips brushing the older man's ear. 

The redhead choked on the sob that escaped him, tears spilling down his freckled cheeks and onto the bare skin of Noel's shoulder. He never thought he'd hear those words from Noel's lips again.

"Please don't make me leave yet," Cam sniffled. "Give me tonight. Just let me hold you for one more night." Noel nodded vigorously against the redhead. He let his legs drop, feet touching the floor, but kept his arms wrapped tightly around his lover, stroking his skin as he tried to remember how to breathe.


End file.
